Different and the Same

This post requires me to start with a short story from the book of Cheryl.

I moved to Vegas a month after initially moving to California.  Why I moved is an entirely different short story for another time.  While living in Sin City, I somehow managed to stick with working production gigs, none of which involved porn.  I know you were thinking it.

I was lucky enough to work on a little film called Rocky Balboa aka Rocky VI.  That's when I met Brian.  He wasn't spectacularly attractive, but he was super confident and that's what got me hooked.  Fast forward a few months and I'm temporarily staying at his place in Santa Monica.

It was the closest I ever got to sleeping my way to the top.

I'm not proud of it.  I didn't get very far.

There were issues.  His penis complex, mainly.  Like many guys, he was worried that he wasn't big enough. But he was more than worried, he was obsessed.

I'm pretty sure his consistent viewing of black on white porn didn't help either.

Now, was he small?  You bet.  But that wasn't the problem, it was his lack of confidence in bed, on the floor, wherever, that made this glorious thing called sex absolutely awful.

I realized that he acted incredibly confident and built himself up outside of the sack because he felt he fell short inside of it.

Literally.

So I found my own place and peaced out.

We still kept in contact, but after a few more months I moved back to Vegas and we faded into our separate lives.

Well, sort of.

For the past two years, and no, I am not exaggerating, he has been trying to take me to lunch.  I consistently blew him off until today.

I don't have a good reason as to why I didn't want to see him.  But I think I knew how the encounter would go, and I was right.

Some.  People.  Never.  Change.

I met him four years ago.  If you knew me four years ago, you've watched me evolve, at least a little.

He's in his early 30s now.  Tonight he had a date with a 21 year old.  Wonderful.  How did he talk her up?

She's got a super hot body.

Of course.

She makes money.

Congratulations.  She apparently passed the two most important requirements.

I had to laugh at him.  He's ridiculous.

But the sad part is, the joke is on me because he represents about 95% of the guys in L.A.

On the plus side, he got fat.  That was pretty awesome.

My requirements?

Must be taller than me.  Come on, it's not hard.

Have a sense of humor.  I know every girl says this, but I fucking mean it.  You have to be quick.  I will be snarky.  Give it right back.  I like to play.

Be assertive.  Seriously.  If I'm interested, I'll make sure you know it, but then the ball is in your court.  I was the school girl kicking boys in the shins, not chasing them around.  Once we make it to the bed, then we can switch it up.

Nice teeth are pretty important too.  I would love a boy with an accent, but they so rarely come with a well maintained mouth.

Sigh.  It really shouldn't be so difficult.  I'm not asking for a millionaire or a completely chiseled body.

Laugh, hold my hand, and pretend to like my friends.

Have a huge dick.

Kidding.  Just be really good in bed.