Ménage à Trois

I realize I'm constantly making excuses for being a slacker and not going out like I should, but I work nights and I'm a slave to my friends on the weekends.

This month has been a bit crazy between birthdays and my brother being in town.

Consequently, this post is more a potpourri of moments experienced throughout the month.

First, let's acknowledge the "Woo Girls."
For those of you who are smart enough to watch How I Met Your Mother, no explanation is needed.  For the rest of you, here's an example.

E.G. and I were out at a club, scouting it for the joint birthday party, and we happened to be standing next to a group of girls.  They're chatting away, laughing, dancing, the usual.  Then "Single Ladies" by Beyonce pops on.

As if on cue, they all raise their hands in the air and scream.

Clearly they are all single.

I understand that reaction when "Livin' on a Prayer" begins to play.  That's a classic.

But to have the 'Woo Girl' reaction to that song?

Pretty sure they're now all going to leave single as well.

And please, I'm sure most of them would give anything to have a ring on it.

The club we were scouting that night turned out the be the place where J.L. (http://www.petbearsounds.com/) and I ended up having our birthday party.

I'm not sure the night could have been more perfect.

What I could have done without is the creepy guys on the dance floor who come up from behind and start grinding.  I'm sure I've expressed this complaint before.

If I've never seen your face, what makes you think that your penis on my ass is a great first impression?

Seriously.

Is it because you know that once I see your face I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you and your penis come no where close to me?

Probably.

If you happen to be dancing near me but think you're really dancing with me, I can guarantee that you aren't. If I want to dance with you, you'll know it.

Then if a song in French comes on and you proceed to tell me it's ok because you're French, I'm going to wonder two things.

What exactly is 'ok?'

And why would I give a fuck that you're French?

Then I'm going to walk away.

Also, if you're a guy, never talk to a girl you just met about having "old money."

Who does that?!

Just a few minor inconveniences in an otherwise stellar evening.

I had decided, with the help of a few friends, that the best way to end the night would be with a ménage à trois.

Myself, one guy to fuck me into oblivion, and one guy to cuddle and talk with afterward.  Of course, ideally, I'd like to find a guy capable of doing all of the above, but that has yet to happen.

The two girls, one guy can happen for someone else's birthday.

If I haven't entertained you enough, which I'm sure is the case, here are two articles that I have found relatively amusing.
Staying Friends After a Breakup
The Ladder Theory