Two for One

I'd say you're getting a great deal with this post, a bonus if you will, but I'm not saving you any money, just wasting more of your time.  Sorry.

Friday night I found myself headed downtown to The Standard with my cohort, EG.  It was her co-worker's 30th birthday and she had never been to the rooftop bar.  New people in a new place, perfect.  First thing on my agenda was to make the parking attendant sitting in a lawn chair think I was going to hit him with my car.

Check.

This bar is beautiful: the pool, the views, the decor.  Most of the time we try to avoid the downtown area, but it was nice to embrace it for a change.

Everyone that was there for the birthday was way ahead of us with alcohol consumption.  It didn't take long before EG and I were caught in a conversation with a 42 year old woman who was dating her ex-husband.  She said the 12th time was a charm.

 I immediately started to pray that I would never end up like her.

Before getting too depressed, we decided it was time to walk around and peruse the merchandise.  After a couple minutes, I turned to EG and asked her what she noticed.

EG:  Hats, a lot of hats.
(pause)
What else?

EG:  A lot short people.
(longer pause)
Ok...what else?

Her eyes widened as the light bulb clicked on.

EG:  Oh!!  They're all Mexican!
Well yeah, and Asian.

It was remarkable, really.  Not that I have anything against either, I mean, I have a bit of 'spanic in me myself, but they're just not my type.  It required some effort to find white guys.  But then there they were, on the dance floor.  Probably the last place they should have been.  One was even ambitious enough to attempt the robot.

Shockingly original.

We stayed away.

Another girl showed up and joined our staring adventure.  EG left to take a shot with the birthday boy and a man in his 40s approached the new girl and I.  He asked us what we were celebrating and then jumped right to having us try to guess what his job was.

Because that's an exciting game to play.

The other girl guessed a vet.  He told her she was close.  I was not about to encourage him.  Then his friend popped up and made some joke about the guy being gay.

Not funny.

He turned to me and asked me what I did.

Really?  This is just getting ridiculous.  And, now I'm trapped.

Before I could even answer he asked if I was a teacher.

I paused, probably made a weird face, and asked him why he thought that.

He said he got a "maternal" vibe from me.

Are.  You.  Kidding.  Me.

Is my clock screaming so loud that random people walking by can hear it?  If so, I wish it would shut the fuck up.

Then he notices I'm wearing a ring on my right ring finger.  He tells me that there's a reason I chose to wear it on that finger and it's because I'm torn between stability and chaos.

Really.  Who isn't?  I'm pretty sure the reason I put it on that finger is because that's where it fits.

EG comes back to take us down to the suite.  Rescued!

Can't say a whole lot happened in the room besides some lines in the bathroom and one's discovery of hipstimatic.  It was time for bed.

Saturday night EG and I met up with over 30 people to hike Griffith.  It was timed perfectly so that we would reach the top for sunset, eat while watching the city lights slowly flicker on, and then hike down with the almost full moon as our flashlight.

To be honest, EG and I were so caught up in the beauty that we ended up in our own worlds and weren't as social as we could have been.  But don't worry, we still met yet another guy who couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about his job in the "industry."

He fed his ego bragging about his travels and his corporate credit card as he fed his face with a Lunchables.

I wonder if I would have brought him a bigger meal, would he have talked less.  Doubtful.

The great part about being on a hike is that you can easily walk away from people you don't want to talk to so that you can "take pictures."  So that's exactly what we did.

It was really refreshing to swap alcohol for a little exercise and great scenery.  Maybe next time we'll have a better selection of men as an added bonus.

Fingers crossed.